Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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