Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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