I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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