in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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