you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
