so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
