Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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