That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize