We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
