i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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