I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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