I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How does it feel to date your dad?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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