stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
