I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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