ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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