I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
