I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
