how can u be prego again
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So vagazzling was a success
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
