make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
this will be a night to untag.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
