At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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