I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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