; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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