We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
