O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
