i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
is that a dick in a sweater?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
