is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize