marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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