Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
