Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize