Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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