So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
