Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
