I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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