I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
