She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
