I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
