her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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