did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
