So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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