Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
