Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
