Do you still have your period?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
