i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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