If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize