dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
