I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize