Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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