Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
