I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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