So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
In America we eat man semen.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
