He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
