No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize