thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
