No, drunk sperm still make babies.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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