Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
