My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You dont lie about slip and slides
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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