i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
