oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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