if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
