Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
