shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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