i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
