You're my little dorito
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
