He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
